This excerpt is from my pamphlet, Conquering the Urine Tests, now in its 11th printing. © copyright, Jeffrey Nightbyrd. Putting on a copyright notice seems strange in the Internet particularly when I want this information to get widely distributed. I guess the notice means that I don't want someone to reprint my hard work for commercial purposes.
If you want to email me it's firstname.lastname@example.org. Later If this posting works I'll try to put more of the pamphlet up on the Net. If you can't wait, you can get the ordering info from the Klear company via recording at 800 661-1357. As an aside, from my research KLEAR makes the best urine testing product on the market.
My motto remains: 'Test your government, not your urine."
Dilution is a highly effective technique. If you know you are going to be tested, even if diuretics aren't available, drink as much water, soda pop, coffee and tea as possible during the 12 hours before the test. This dilutes your sample as much as four to five times, and often yields negative readings under the threshold of the test. Even if you only have an half hour warning, drink as much fluid as possible, and void the first portion of your urine sample into the toilet. This has worked for many occasional pot smokers. In Byrd Labs tests, this will work as much as 50% of the time. Don't punish yourself with vinegar, lemon juice, or other strange concoctions. If possible take a 50mg to 100 mg of Vitamin B complex, or Vitamin B-2 tablets to produce a lovely yellow color in your urine. Colorless urine raises suspicion.
There is little uniformity in testing procedures. In most situations your private parts will not be directly observed, unless the test is being conducted by a pervert. In some instances you may be asked to change into a hospital gown. Inquire about the procedures in your workplace. Plan ahead; keep your cool.
Certain herbs act as diuretics which speed fluid elimination. Among the best diuretics are Horsetail Grass, Poria, Dandelion Root, Juniper Berry and Parsley. Golden Seal is a good purifier. These are available at your health food store. Your vitamin store carries compounds like "Thompsons Diuretics" or "KAL Herbal Diuretic". These taken as teas reduce your reading, and can be very helpful in as little as 12 hours if several quarts are consumed. But it's best to begin as soon as your know you are going to be tests. NOTE: THE TEAS DO NOTHING TO REDUCE THE EXCRETION OF DRUG METABOLITES, THEY WORK BY DILUTING YOUR SAMPLE. This does not guarantee getting under the threshold of the test. The old, widely used, standard was 100 nanograms for THC.
WARNING: Following the Dept. of Transportation's lead many labs are shifting to the 50 nanogram test threshold. Previously the standard threshold for THC was 100 nanograms. A moderate smoker consuming liquids the day of the test could usually pass on the 4th day. At the 50 nanogram level dilution with teas will be increasingly problematic.
When you drink quantities of vinegar, cranberry juice, or other weird home remedies they are processed by the amazingly sophisticated filtration system in your body. They are of little or no direct help. Stick with water or diuretic teas.
In an incredibly stupid report, Newsweek magazine reported Mountain Dew could be substituted for urine. The smell, stickiness, and sugar content make this idea unworkable. However, you might get permanent sick leave with the world's highest rating on a diabetes test. Don't try it.
Though we do not recommend or encourage any illegal activity or abusive drug use, we think each individual is best suited to make judgments about the circumstances that affect her or his life.
Byrd Labs has tested several hundred compounds, many which are commonly available. The following information has been checked, double checked, and tested by laboratory personnel. Over the last four years over a thousand trials have been run to separate fact from fantasy. As part of our ongoing informational effort we include the following reports of methods that have been attempted by people seeking to protect their jobs:
Many report using containers such as Urostemy bags, rubbers, or saline bags, concealed in their underwear to provide an alternative sample. Many testing personnel check to see that the urine sample is warm, so in this method either warm water must be used or the sample needs to be kept close to the body. Acceptable urine temperature is usually 90.5 to 100 degrees. Urine kept next to the body usually reads about 92 to 94 degrees.
Many report success using reservoir tipped condoms (non lubricated), which are filled with about 3 to 4 ounces of urine, and the backed end closed with a tightly wrapped rubber band. Carried under the arm or in the underpants, the tip is pinched off and the warm contents squirted into the collecting bottle. In cases of extreme surveillance, the condom has been worn over the penis, like a penis extender with the liquid in the front. Most test subjects are not observed closely.
A competitive weight lifter, worried about steroid use, reported to Byrd Labs that she had secreted a condom in her vagina during the course of the competition. Afterward, she sat on the toilet, reached down, pricked the tip and squirted the urine into the collecting bottle. When reminded that steroid use was harmful to her long term health, she replied, "I know, but it's the price you have to pay if you want to compete at a national level. All the competitors are doing it."
NOTE. The problem with using bleach, ammonia, and Drano or other substances is that samples are frequently tested for specific gravity, pH, or creatinine. Battery acid would render a test negative for drugs, but drop the pH test off the scale. If a company followed up with the sophisticated GC/MS test, it would be obvious your urine had been adulterated.
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